Overwhelming but worth it

Let’s make this short!! I’m way too tired to even pen down whatever is in my scrambled thoughts. It’s not easy..let me tell you..Having a baby is way too ..I keep forgetting what I needed to even type here. Am I the only one having amnesia after delivery. My nerves seems to be fried out and cells seems to be sending out signals and getting stuck somewhere in between.  So its just too overwhelming at times..yes that’s the word that I had saved up in my lists of thoughts. 

Overwhelming..yes??!!  Especially when they just get so sick and you are trying to keep everything together. .just breaks your heart to see them suffer and at the same when they refuse to take their medicine or have food and when they just don’t go to anybody else rather than cling onto your pants..yes theres nothing much you can do ..just take them in your arms..let it be..

Take your time..hug her/him..nobodys perfect..and you are your own version of perfection for them…So let them know dat you love them with all your heart. They catch onto your vibes u see ; if you tend to be all cranked up n fuzzy they will be too so give out the good vibes. Let it overflow ..just for now forget the dishes in the sink..the dirty clothes. .the mess that’s lying around. Just be with them bcos I just realized that they grow up so fast that you will be looking back.. so embrace this moment. .. love each second.. let your life be them now..




I miss you (2/10) 

You were long gone..

Casting no shadows behind

Picking up the pieces again..I found..

Myself Reaching back to u …feeling alone..

Yet once again..here I am

A familiar sense of detachment. .

Only to be buried deep in your skin..

Closer than your breathe..

Deeper than this love..

That has no label or name..

You caught me thru this darkest hour..

Pushing me so far away..

Drowning me in your waves..

Drowning in this ocean all alone..

Should I put the blame on me..

Just put the blame on me..


Love with all your heart (1/10)

From the sunshine beams bursting through my windows to my little one smiling back at me..I love that with all my heart…

 How I long to swing by under that tree once again..soaring through the crisp air..heart pounding like crazy..holding onto the rope so tight not caring if you are going to fall down..but just love it with all my soul..that moment I’m in the air ..carefree .. 

Under that tree. 

I love how memories play by like shadows chasing you away. But you are the shadow that’s with me now. I can have you but can never keep

(Yes I have a wild imagination 😉)

Kindness is a face..not just a phase.                                      

It was not easy at all traveling with my 8 month old daughter who is in a stage where she loves waving “taata ” to strangers and gives her adorable toothless smile. My state of calmness which was on the brink vanished when I found a man sitting next to my prebooked online seat . When I stood there in confusion while holding my baby in one hand and a big bag in another, the man in front of me had a similar expression as he had to sit next to a lady and so he kindly asked me if we should swap our seats. I was more than just happy but this seat also turned out to be too open for me as it was next to emergency exit which isn’t usually allowed on flights to be slotted for passengers with infants. Again I exchanged my seat to sit near a woman who seemed to be in her late forties. Had a quick conversation with her in which I realized she was traveling from USA and was just tired out that she had to sit for 17 hours.                                                                My daughter started her first approach to strangers which is to scan them, which according to her is to stare them with her big curious eyes for a long time until she’s assured they are safe species to smile at. Well this lady not only smiled but also started to play with her. I could say she was exhausted from the journey but she saw me struggling with my munchkin. Well they both had an instant connection .. I can say so because it was the very first time she was actually trying to call this person with her tiny hands whenever she dozed off but only to wake up again and smile at her. No traces of frustration or anger whatsoever. When it was time to get off the plane, my little one was super excited to see the crowd standing up as if they were her audience and she just waved to them bye happily. I saw a lot of faces around smiling back at us.  Lastly the kind lady insisted on taking my heavy bag and let me carry my baby alone, I couldn’t thank her well but just smiled at her. I took back my bag while I saw her walking away with her own heavy load ..with no sign of Sadness. Her clothes seemed to have lost the hue , her bag worn out .. but she carried a true face..a face of kindness 

Being a Mother and a zombie

Immensely blessed to be a mother to my little chubby munchkin baby girl. I’m being drowned by words As I don’t know where to start. Being almost 8 months now I should be able to get hold of myself. 

I adore seing her smiling face in the morning. Sometimes wait for her to get up to start the day. It’s a routine where she’s bath fed slept played fed slept played and somehow the days seems to run so fast that I don’t want to miss these days where I’m able to hold her close to my heart. Being a Mother is not a piece of cake. It’s all about priorities people!!

There’s diapers not thrown away..mushy clothes lying around.. dirty plates in the sink.. the sofa has become my laundry spot lets just sum up in one short sentence that the house is a big mess!! Sometimes I don’t even bother to move my finger around that might just give me a clean spot just to dumb more clothes there. That’s where I turn into a zombie sitting in one plce with my mobile in one hand , having coffee or just relaxing whenever I can. I don’t have time to paint..read books or go for some ‘me’ time. The ultimate ‘me’ time is here, right now ..In my bed or sofa. I have seen lot of mothers who just seem to be perfect..In don’t know how they do it. They cook clean work ..look after the baby..go partying ..oh I forgot about the magic word “cook”!! That’s just too much for me at times. But I get so hungry I could devour an elephant. Life has changed from the moment I knew I was pregnant. Delivering a baby isn’t that easy as some say. I went through each second knowing what labour pain is..10 hours to be precise. I never got fat after all the food I had ..I still look like a scarecrow but with a tummy for a change. 😂 

I can’t believe it’s already going to be 8 months with my baby. First three months I couldn’t enjoy as I was in too much pain due to haemorrhoids. So if you guys need some help regarding post pregnancy haemarroids I could help you what I think helped me. I could neither sit or sleep properly.  On top of that I also got fissure so there you go. I’m not going into those details now. Maybe in my next post will explain in detail. It’s been a very long time since I wrote anything here. So now you can see the difference in my old posts and this. This post seems a bit dull..does it?? Well I can’t help it..I’m a mother who’s up at 2:50 a.m unable to sleep. This is when I start think about getting creative and also hungry 😑. Never forget to pamper yourself now and then. You need it more than anyone else. I went for this amazing thai massage months back and I felt amazing after that. My backpain also disappeared after 1 or 2 weeks. 

I would love to come back here again soon 😁. Thailand people are really amazing. Now and then I tend to pamper myself with make up. .yaaaas! ! I have a well in my dark circles plus I’m starting to look like a nomad lately. I wasn’t so obsessed I swear but now this is what I do. I need a break from all this. Even going on a vaccation is tiring that I want a vaccation from that vaccation. I will just stop this here. I will write better next time. Right now going to sleep with my cutiepie and just be with her. In the end it’s all worth the effort!!😊😊😘❤💙💜💛


Milly ☺

Walk the Soul & Mind..

cd685efce4a159dbf9a3d27059f448caWhat is that makes us so sluggishly addicted to these texts, messages and just more of these things. The more attached one is to such devices the more stifled you become. The world of devices and gadgets revolves around our own.I was hooked onto my laptop and phone watching movies and mainly “The Walking Dead” , i was afraid i will be one of the dead if it went on so!! (but i love that serial).


After watching i realized that i didn’t want to get up from my comfy spot of lazing around on my bum and crawling in that few centimeters of my freedom..sheeesh! how lazy am i??!! All i did was eat, work on my lap, and browse through whatever that caught my eye. Apparently i lost my mind to grow creatively or feel intrigued by my own imagination. i miss painting but everytime i go near my paintbrushes or canvas, i get drenched in this regretful feeling i will have later as i might still wanna go fix my arse on the couch or bed!! So let’s get some perspective here people!! okay i know i should … I figured i will jot down here and then get along!! Promise!! yes one day i will (Sigh).


Meanwhile i joined my partner for a vigorous evening walk that lasted more than 60 minutes. I walked for almost 30 minutes and then called my mum, kind of anxious over some things but relieved i spoke to her that made me feel at ease… Along i joined his walk of pride, to create a record of 10,000 steps, we talked, played with our pet cat, smiled, laughed, felt the cool breeze that hinted winter was on the way. As soon we started walking back to our home, i felt light, slightly tired but refreshed, inspired and wanted to write, paint, cook, and do everything at once.. Now that feeling is what i longed for!!


You won’t get that when simply wasting on mobiles and dumb electronics that suck our minds into eternal dimension of dreary beliefs.Walking has it’s own great benefits, i remember walking with my sister, that’s when we talked and talked of our thoughts about life and other matters, reaching back home feeling good and better.


The night kind of hung over the dull city life that once slept over my unsettled mind not knowing how or where to reach to…to feel this way..this free and revived. OK you might be thinking if i was living in a jail with no friends,,,no i came to live with my parents after college got over but was depressed b’cos i missed my friends back there and my whole life just turned upside down. That phase of life turned me around, to be who i am now..


i get scolded for walking while i talk on my phone because that’s how i get more thin, my mom used to say..still say so..but that didn’t stop me and i still do so..kind of naturally came,,this walking habit..i think it’s good in a way..Once i talked for 2 hours straight with my sis …walking all the way..and my phone blinked up a notification saying i completed my goal of walking more than 60 minutes a day..yaaay!!! Well im glad i went to bed last night tired and got a good night sleep..!! you should try it! walk for an hour, wherever you like, be at a park, beside a road, seaside, right in front of your home, but remember to put away your phone atleast then and just Breathe, Let go and Live those moments of just you and your body walking away…walking away your mind into thoughts and releasing the happy hormones, serotonin!! Let the serotonin on all days, makes your night sleeps better, giving you a refreshing new tomorrow!!


So bye for now…..




The Cat Spice .. !



As i walked up to her, she jumped a step back and forth, not knowing what that was, i sat down patiently just waiting. I opened my eyes to see a pair of big eyes gazing back at me, but rather profoundly. As i hustled up to an insect which wouldn’t stay still, excitedly sprang out and landed over the tiny thing, but while i was working hard to grasp the nasty puny creature, My Huge tall being exalted me as she stroked my thick fur and called my name. I couldn’t resist the urge to soothe her with my sweet gesture. I sprawled to my small feet and rubbed against her legs, purring continuously, as quickly as that happened, she held me in her arms and swayed side to side massaging me gently , humming sweet nothings, i snug in the reverie of contentment, vibrating my worries away, while the teeny pest happily fluttered off

With lots of love,scratches,licks,purrs

Spice CatIMG_20141104_161927

How cats can keep your soul & mind warm


If you are not a Feline Lover then Run for your lives!! Because there’s a lot to come on about cats and stuff

So i’m not going to elaborate but just go along with the flow…With the Story of how i met my best Tom

I have been around many cats but this one stayed longer..the weird thing is i start to miss her  even more when i feel down..Yes that’s write its a “her”..And i think she was just 8 months old when i found her’ sitting beside the door of my building, her bright round moon eyes gazed back at me..following me steadily when i simply made a gesture with my hand, i did get bit scared as i had a recent experience of a cat scratching me a bit and had to anyway take injections. Stray cats can be dangerous if not observed

There’s a lot i have to say but mostly about the times when i used to dance and my feline friend used to sit quietly on my couch watching me curiously as my hands swayed in the air,but then would go back to her nap as she realizes its utter nonsense i’m doing

I got used to her being around, and how calming it is whenever she sat on my lap and purrr’ed all the way, little bit of kneading into my clothes and skin.

She has her own form of a being living in her, understands when i call out, kind of smiles when hiding behind the sheets (dont worry its not creepy at all) How hyper she gets when playing around ‘jumping onto my leg to grab a part of my pant’ telling me she knows i will get scared so do it anyway. At times when im down she knows it, shes a natural! she comes and meows in a way like she says ” i know life sucks but here you are with me…so suck it up!!”

There were times when I used to sit and watch the serial “friends” and she would just come and sit near me watching along as if she knew what was going on

People tend to like her fast as shes so cute and polite.. :D. She has a knack of letting others caress and love her..Atta girl!!

Always interested in Shoes.. (just like me but in a different way i guess) :)
Always interested in Shoes.. (just like me but in a different way i guess) 🙂

Sorry 4 stuffing in all her pics..but I am going to stuff some more here for you ..😬

I miss my paalu..

I hope wherever you are..

May you find a loving home ..food and safe place❤❤❤😣😢😢

You Should Be “Writing” , you know!!

4ea6d8d7922c17ab2b249433a735b932I would rather just write by as that’s what i longed for..ached for..to jot down..to scribble or draw out my thoughts on as if it were a canvas, the thoughts were the paint, i would fabricate an earthly being of my fumbled words..wander upon the misty moors..plant that tree with the cavernous roots which would nourish the souls for the thirst to “write”..

That Glimpse of the rooted aspiration, would forever stride the paths .. the corners of the restless minds .. dust the cobwebs off..Let the sun in..and gleam through your window.Adorn your life!! Enhance your writing!069e47cc1ed73ef7d7914605c6853b6a

Sometimes its hard to pen down your statement..scream out your notions…Rather let it arise in the reverie or just when your wide awake at night. I guess the best  time to jot down is then..Get up and kindle the muddled world, unfurl your voice, let it be heard from elsewhere other than the voice in your head!! So just a Reminder to all of you out there; to go burn up your pens/papers or your laptop keys…Happy typing!!c4e54b3c78341f935a95426d626b65fb



My Five least Favorite Friends


Okay “least” is a lie, Five is a Lie too.As i wont put a number or a price on them!

This ones for you..you losers who stuck around till now. Yes now you can laugh it off, it’s okay

“The more distance it seemed, the closer.we got”.

—>A gem was to be kept forever, ya little did we know that.What a short time we spent but shared a ton of memories. You’re an awesome singer babe!! and a Beautiful being!! 😀 After all those break-times where i used to make you sing, especially that last day where you left!!! It was hard to let you go..but harder when i realized that you were that special friend i finally got!! When time flew there came a gap where we slipped away, kind of got caught up with life (okay, studies :-/) that’s when i had a beautiful dream where we both stood watching the sunset, that great feeling, with which i woke up next day, i rushed to write a letter soon, and after that we never got lost in life as there was no life without you.”You” defined what a true friend is, None could do that then.

The ice-creams, the food, the numerous amount of photos we clicked away trying to get that perfect one even though sometimes we were dead tired, Always wished if our homes were nearer, that’s why God didn’t do that as we might form the lazy pact  and just laze around, not moving, poking each other to first get up (haha!!) Don’t worry nobody knows it’s “you”!! :D. 61555452b7ff8d8f8fe048699aee03aa

Years passed, my hair grew longer, people got weirder and i ended up in a bunch of people who called themselves as my friends,  they taught me well what it is to have Patience or should have long lost it and hit them all. Friends with no tags came and left, merely even for a season, maybe just was a reason i could hold onto. My height of positivism wasn’t there, I would brood and write poems,diary and letters.

I sat in a class full of haze, students of a race they seemed, all grazing happily in their own herd, that’s when i noticed a very happy face smiling back at me in return of my despairing glum gaze.There was something in that i could trust, i could see..that it was my intuition, it was an impulsive move , I just went ahead and talked and we have since been  to this very second, proud to say that  the greatest lunatic is one of my best friends (sorry dear but you are!!) We still are friends because you know my secrets,  (wink wink!)8af67c423ce239b26fc100fb123f3b2b

From there on we happened to be together for the rest of the college , now that was a great time! Never regretted anything at all, Laughed till we snorted off or peed a little 😀 . Talked till ..well there was no till..because every time we met we had so much to blabber, time was never enough.

It was through my best friend i met one of my other best friend, its strange as i had the least notion that would turn out to be so, but i still remember your eyes being lit up when i came up to you and said bye, you were like turning back i guess..See how lame you were..buha!! Sorry, got carried away. Well you had your own circle of friends then but our chitchats and weird jokes kind of stuck around and became a part of me, and your secrets safe with me!! ( evil smile) Dont worry we all know your secrets 😀 It now seems like a billion years ago but when i look back i see us all constantly being there for each other despite the amount of fights we had.. So proud of me…uh! “you” all.. :))d60686394d08efe629e416cd16623911

My Hostel was one hell of a ravishing world! It’s here where i found partners in crime, life changing moments, We grew, we sang horribly, danced like a nut, ate like no one’s watching, shared nights watching movies, talking about life and stuff..etc Miss you all dearly, without either one of you, it would have never been the same. :-* :-*da631752b1fd13b6fc567dfd56a47113

Then there came life reminding us..that its going to get quirky down its ups and turns, & we all came to this one Big Stop!! where we all turned our separate ways, but  here we are, even if it’s  rare birthday calls or lame talks, messages or once in a blue moon meet -ups, i still find the beautiful notion of us being together, as a family, even though miles apart… Like said ” your lucky if you have family as friends, and friends who are like family”- beautifully said!!

I’m here knowing these wonderful souls..”WE” were destined to meet, and just be that circle..one world, our Memories,  which nobody else got.. now that’s special right..30d685f6cb9c2278f3de6cfa4df01ff9

“Puddles we walked, An ocean of Memories it seemed

the ‘Rains of hope’, whispered the trees

Spread the earthy mist

to the souls of life, the depth of joy

We found each other..lived the best of times”!! – Me!37a8a36ecb2f241f2fe1ba90e9018cf8

With Lots of love,

The most Amazing Friend one can have! 😉